i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
smell my finger.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Randomize
