My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
