you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
