Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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