it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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