I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
