i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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