Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
