when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
