I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
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