His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
