I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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