She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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