he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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