The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
