I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
