those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
