well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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