so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
