But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
