Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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