All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
