i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
