Pregnant stripper...not hot.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
my poor anus
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
