I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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