we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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