i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Boobs are out for the taking
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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