No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize