After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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