hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
