But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
