I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
