no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
