Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You can't special order awesome
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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