I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
