Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
