you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
