And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
