Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
