You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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