Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
A+ Viking dick
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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