Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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