I swear she didn't look like that last week.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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