Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
