it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
