Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
