Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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