Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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