You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
