Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
